ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she peed on how many people?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
