i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
