Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
