it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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