smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
