why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
