Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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