We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
bring money and cleavage
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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