Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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