TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this just has baby written all over it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
