i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
