That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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