We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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