who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
