who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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