We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
