worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
