i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
