I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
