What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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