so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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