He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
