I am in a vortex of obligation.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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