at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
