I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
