Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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