I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
