don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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