Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
