So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
