She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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