Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
