How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
