I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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