Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
