dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
