and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize