Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
