I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
