Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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