Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
