Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
