lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we're making bets on your personal life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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