then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
