My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
