Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
