Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
