You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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