Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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