question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
