I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
