the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
