What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
