I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
