I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm at about main and main street
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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